Thursday, April 09, 2009

Trickle-Down Economics

What would desperate people do without some kind souls looking to share the bailout bounty? From the Manhattan "men seeking women" section of Craigslist:
  • YOU'RE TOO HOT TO PAY YOUR OWN BILLS!
    I'm an investment banker downtown. And I'll be honest with you, I'm not much myself in the looks department. But what I do have is a nearby apartment I'm not using. And a bunch of cash and a couple of credit cards I'm not using either. Rather than go to . . ugh. . .work. . .why don't you use the apartment and cash and credit cards I'm not using? Now, I'm gonna be upfront. This generous offer isn't simply so you can have the privilege of living in my place, spending my money and watching my credit card balances grow. No, I would expect that in exchange for these privileges you will gladly, willingly and enthusiastically fulfill my deepest desires, especially of a sexual nature.

  • A Generous Sugar Daddy Type
    I'm 34, well educated, and work in the finance industry. I am looking for something "no strings attached", but perhaps mutually beneficial for the both of us. I am attracted to Asian and Caucasian women, but am very open minded in the type of girl I'd like to spoil. Most important to me is that you be between my age or younger, and have a very open minded/fun attitude. In terms of spoiling, I'd love to be generous with the right girl in whatever it is you might need help with, bills, spending money, etc.

  • HERE'S WHY I'M THE 1 SUGAR PAPA 4 U!!
    ME:
    -Supremely rsuccessful evp of Fortune 500 Investment Firm
    -UES luxury co-op, Berkshire weekend house
    -Handsome
    -Tall
    -Generous
    -Very intelligent and cultivated
    -NOT MARRIED

    YOU
    -Beautiful, buxom,sexy, WITH THE PHOTOS TO PROVE IT NO MY SPACE.
    -Definitely not a pro
    -Well mannered and intelligent
    -Sexually Adventurous, not uptight
    -Drug and disease free

    YOU WILL RECEIVE
    -Most generous stipend to be negotiated based upon personal chemistry and availability (I won't insult you by naming a figure. Once again, I ask that you not be a "professional")
    -Gifts
    -If all goes well, use of nyc dwelling

  • Shoes, Shoes, Shoes (Manolos, Choos and Louboutins)
    Very successful, charming, confident, handsome, irreverent Investment Banker seeks sophisticated, intelligent, very attractive, fashionable mid-20 to early 30-something with a sincere weakness for high-end designer heels and the like -- for dating (and more) if chemistry ignites. Please be very feminine.

  • Wealthy Banker ISO submissive girl
    Hello. I am a wealthy investment banker. I seek to be a sugar daddy to fun, young submissive girl who enjoys some of the finer things in life. Is that you? If so, tell me about yourself and send a photo.

  • 2 handsome wall street brokers with money to spend
    two dynamic Wall Street broker want to enjoy the beginning of Spring. Want to meet 2 asian girls who are fun loving and want to enjoy a fine dinner with drinks. the city will be hot tonight with us. sent a note and lets spend some of our money. we want 2 hot asian girls.

  • VGL WM SEEKING ARRANGEMENT
    I am a good looking 38 y/o WM. I am 6'0 180lbs. I am a nice, ivy league educated, wall street professional. I am seeking to find a mutually benefical relationship with a nice, personable, educated, WF who is in good shape and in her 20-30s. You will not be disappointed. If this is something that interests you, please tell me a little bit about yourself. thx. Pics for pics...thx

  • Looking to Spoil and Pamper
    I am a laid back wall street gentlement that would love to spoil and pamper a pretty young lady. I'd treat you like a princess, take you out to resturants, clubs, etc., and fill our nights with stimulating conversation. I wouldn't mind taking care of various financial needs...

  • Handsome Hedge Fund Manager Seeks Beautiful Kiki de Montparnasse Type
    I am a handsome hedge fund manager who is seeking a beautiful girl to spoil rotten. I don't like to play games or waste time pursuing someone who is not seeking a similar situation. So I find myself turning to Craigslist. So what am I looking for? A beautiful, intelligent young woman who wants to meet a very successful man who can spoil her with shopping trips, days at the best spas, and a very generous monthly allowance. You must be extremely good looking and very feminine for this to work. Does my idea of a decidedly decadent, metropolitan romance spark an interest?

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there any allowance for a pension plan?

4/09/2009 11:52 PM  
Blogger Essayist-Laywer said...

Gee, these adds make prostitution look pretty attractive. All a prostitute has to do is screw the guy and be on her way. At least she doesn't have to tolerate his ego day after day.

4/10/2009 1:49 AM  
Anonymous Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt from his hands as he ... said...

it's my experience that every single "Personals" ad I've ever read has depressing and pathetic and transparently soul-killingly needy

Ah, look at all the lonely people

4/10/2009 4:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, good samaritans.

4/10/2009 9:37 AM  
Anonymous e. nonee moose said...

Pretty much all of the above could be shortened to "WANTED: HOOKER."

4/10/2009 12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dear CR, these are nothing new. You must not look at Craigslist M4W often enough to know that these kinds of ads are a daily occurrence, long before the word "bailout" became part of our national consciousness.

If anything, most of these chumps are probably liars, aggrandizing themselves in the ad, hoping to get a hot gold digger and then stiff her (pun wasn't intended, but it is now) when the time comes to buy her those Manolo Blahniks.

4/11/2009 1:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After reading those I am in desperate need of a shower.

4/11/2009 2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This would be a good place to post:

DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT READ.

4/12/2009 7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a followup, this article from Sunday's NY Times Magazine:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/magazine/12sugardaddies-t.html?_r=1&ref=magazine

4/13/2009 12:17 PM  
Anonymous Thomas Daulton said...

these kinds of ads are a daily occurrence, long before the word "bailout" became part of our national consciousness.

Decades ago, I think during the "Greed Is Good" era, we already established what we are. As a nation.
Now we're just haggling over the price.

4/13/2009 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Character Counts.

Where's Dateline when you need them?

They treat everyone like a "2 cent whore", customers, co-workers, companies, people they meet.

Reminds me of the scene in, "Boiler Room".
"http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0181984/
Or that country album, white trash with money.

I like the idea of craigslist, but there is A LOT of garbage on it.

4/14/2009 1:27 PM  
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12/09/2009 1:43 PM  
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2/09/2010 1:50 AM  
Anonymous Viagra Online said...

Very interesting way to redact economics issues, very easy to understand it easy to read too, and yeah, you right: the generous offer isn't simply so you can have the privilege of living in my place

12/22/2010 4:45 PM  
Anonymous tienda erotica said...

This will not work as a matter of fact, that is what I believe.

6/28/2011 3:24 AM  

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